Memories
by ElleKoneko
Summary: Ed x Envy angst fic,review please. envy leaves. ed takes a turn for the worst, his memories could destroy him... but do they? is there anything that can change his feelings on how he sees the world?


I stood on the edge of the building, wind blowing through my golden hair. Memories and emotions coming back, stronger than ever after I had pushed them to a corner of my mind, never accessed until now. I had told myself all this time I was alright; I even lied to my own brother and childhood friend so they wouldn't worry. They saw through my lies. They tried to find me someone new. They didn't realise how much it hurt me; how much I hurt myself. I knew no one could replace him and I wouldn't want anyone to. I just wanted him back.

A single tear left my eye. I saw the vision over and over in my head.

"Im leaving Edward" his smooth voice spoke to me quietly.

"What? Why?" the panic showed in my voice.

He took my hands carefully in his and looked into my eyes. "You don't need me anymore, you have your life all planned out. I was just an accessory, and on the side, an extra. You can carry on your life without me and enjoy it"

How wrong you were. I'm prepared to jump and you don't know about it because you left, after all we had been through. If you had cared about me you wouldn't have left and let my life be ruined, my confidence run low. I wouldn't be here, on this ledge right now if you didn't leave. I would be in your arms watching movies, laughing at any funny things that happened.

I remembered one Christmas, I woke up earlier than normal and slid out of his grip to rush downstairs and see what Santa had left. I looked at the beautifully decorated tree in the middle of the room and sighed. That was the perfect Christmas. When he came downstairs, I turned to see his smile, a genuine smile. He stepped forward and slid an arm around my waist, pulling me close into a tight hug. It was surprising how well our bodies fit together, like a puzzle, perfectly. The whole day was calm. We sat by the fire in peace. He took my hair out of its usual braid and stroked it softly, I fell into a deep slumber in his arms but when I awoke, I was alone. I thought he wouldn't be long, until I remembered what he told me the night before, about leaving. I said before that, that Christmas was perfect, well it was until the moment I opened my eyes back into the real world. I wasn't in the fantasy I wished I was in, it was the real world, where there is crime and deaths.

No one can live forever, is what my mother used to say when she was ill. She was right and my time to die is now.

I ran through the options in my head.

I could step down and go back to living my life of misery. It wouldn't bring him back and I wouldn't feel better, but on the other hand everyone else would be happy.

I could jump now and end my life, it would be selfish and I would be throwing away everything i worked for. It is what I want and I would be reunited with my mother, then again what would Al do without me.

I thought about my options carefully but I already knew my decision. I looked down to see a group forming below some crying and shouting to me, but I didn't care. I wanted to think of more memories, just to settle me before the time came. I stepped away from the edge and sat down.

I remembered Halloween when we both dressed up. He answered the door to the small children who screamed when they saw him. The older kids just looked at him and smiled, some complimenting his costume. I just laughed and I could tell he was enjoying himself; you would as well if you were a killer. I'll let you into a little secret: the blood he used for his vampire fangs, it wasn't fake and no it wasn't the blood of anyone you know. He was just back from one of his killing sprees and he didn't have time to wash it off so he added it to the fangs and changed into his costume quickly before the doorbell rang. I never minded his killing sprees as long as it wasn't anyone I knew and they had to be dying. When that rule came into play, he made a promise that he would mostly kill animals, like cows and sheep. For that he had to travel far but he didn't mind because it was for me.

Another time I remember was Valentine's Day. I wasn't with him then, we got together at one of Roy mustangs 'socials'. I was invited, naturally, but he crashed it because he was board. I was angry at him for it so I walked straight up to him and told him what I thought only to be silenced by his lips touching mine. An audible gasp was heard from everyone around, when I didn't pull away but to my defence I was in shock so it was expected or it should have been. When he pulled away I just stared. He smirked and jumped out of a nearby window leaving everyone speechless. I looked at my watch for the time when I noticed a number on my hand, I smiled. That was just the start of it all, the day after I called him, we met up a few times and we got used to been together. Eventually we trusted each other enough to move into an apartment of our own.

My happiest memory of us was when we told the world. I walked into the office preparing for a normal day, until my lunch break when he got board and decided to make a guest appearance. That was the second time he made everyone speechless, including me!

Then he just declared that we were together and told everyone how much he loved me with so much confidence, it was fantasy-like.

Tears streamed down my cheeks faster than ever. I needed to forget everything that had ever happened to me; I needed to forget him and our time together. It was time.

I stood up and closed my eyes. I was ready to end my time on earth, for my eyes to be forever closed and my heart to stop beating. I would either be burned or buried in the cold ground, not the person I was before, broken, dead. I stepped forward careful not to slip. I opened my eyes and looked down for the second time since I had gone up there. Alphonse was holding Winry close, attempting to stop her vision. He was looking up with pleading eyes, I could sense his disappointment. I shivered from the cold wind but I didn't lose my balance on the ledge, I just stood looking down at my brother and childhood friend, the people that had always been there for me, never left me and I was going to ruin their lives with a jump I was going to make, all to make it better for me. I didn't think how much it would harm them, I mean I knew it would but I didn't know how much. The guilt of what I was doing kicked in, but I couldn't turn back now.

I closed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair, ready to jump, finally.

"Edward... don't" a voice whispered, so close but so far.

I shuffled forward further the end of my feet over the edge.

"Step back Ed, you don't want to do this"

The voice was not going to leave me alone; I had to end this as quickly as possible. I moved a foot over the edge, still keeping balance. Screams came from below where people were stepping back to clear room for my jump. Police sirens were heard clearly as they turned the corner and rushed to the scene, they were too late, I'm up here and they can't get me down!

"Edward, if you don't step away from the edge, I'm coming to get you!" The voice whispered louder this time, haunting me.

I stepped off the edge, wind picking up as I did so. I heard winry scream and Al shouting for her to stay back, but then a loud gasp was heard. I expected all light to disappear but it didn't. I looked down. I was still above ground, way above ground. Everyone had a surprised look on their faces.

I looked up only to see "envy..." my eyes widened in shock, the same as that of the people below.

"Ne, chibi, you didn't really think I'd let you jump did you?" his smirk was there, as was a look of concern and worry in his shiny purple eyes.

I gave him a glare as I shouted "so, basted, you gunna pull me back up or not?" he looked angry but still pulled me back up onto the ledge. Everyone who had stopped to watch the moment cheered, Al hugging winry close, crying with happiness.

I let envy lead me away from the edge then I took my hand away and folded my arms in front of me, letting him know he was in trouble. He sighed. "ok, ed, I'm going to reason with you now, I left feeling uncertain of my actual feelings for you and for the past month I have given us thought, lots of it in fact, I wanted to see how you were doing and this is what I came back to. I thought you would be alright without me but I was wrong and I'm sorry, I should never have left, it was a stupid mistake I made and... I love you" his eyes dropped to the floor.

I took his hands in mine and let my eyes drop to the floor as well. I felt him pull me close and rest his chin on the top of my head. His thin, pale skinned arms wrapped around me lovingly and I couldn't help but sniffle at how stupid I had wanted to end my life and escape from the problem in hand. I was a coward. Envy helped me see my mistakes and he also helped me fix them. Those three simple words mean the world and my life. He saved me.

"I love you too, it should be me that's sorry I made everyone worry and I only thought about myself. I should have faced my problems and fears instead of running away. I'm a coward."

I cried into his shoulder not caring about anything anymore, I just wanted it to be me and him, forever. I didn't want anything to disturb this moment, the moment of true love, happiness, and life.

"Promise me you won't ever worry me again, chibi" he whispered into my ear slowly.

"I promise, envy and I'm sorry" he hugged me tighter.

"I'm sorry too I'll never hurt you again"

True love connected for hours, the puzzle complete, perfection together again at last, never to part again. Cuts will heal, bruises will mend and life, for ed will be happy again in time.


End file.
